Looking Forward, Looking Back - REFLECTIONS...

The holidays are coming up, and regardless of whether you are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist or of any other religion or no religion at all, most Expat Teens are looking forward to the upcoming break from school. 

So, how does an Expat Teen typically spend the holidays? Where do they go? What do they do?? An amazing fact about Expat Teens is that there is very little that is ‘typical’ or predictable’ about them and/or their transient lifestyles, which includes how they spend school holidays. There will always be a group that goes to their ‘home’ or passport country to spend the holiday, to be with their extended family. There will probably be a group that have a new adventure, as they have the time to travel with their family and/or friends, to explore and discover a new region, city, or culture. Lastly, there will likely be a group that ‘stays around’ in their local host country, at “home” in the house that they currently live in. 

Wherever and however the holidays are spent, they are a good time for reflection. Taking the time to reflect on how you feel about the past few months, whether they were full of change as a result of having experienced a recent move, or whether they were spent really invested in with the rigors of school, friends, sports, and other interests. Looking back and thinking about what went well and what did not is helpful and is a proactive approach in terms of looking forward. The end-of-year holidays, regardless of what you do or do not celebrate, end with us entering a new year. What is in store for you for 2012? Take some time on your own to think about it and write down your objectives to make them meaningful and to increase the likelihood of you committing to them and, subsequently, being more likely to achieve them.

Regardless of where you go or how you spend the holidays, we would like to take this opportunity to wish you a wonderful holiday period and we wish you all the best for 2012!

Who You Are and Where You "Belong"...

Current research identifies two dominant themes that Expat Teens have difficulty with as a direct result of the transient nature of their lives; 1) developing a sense of identity and 2) developing a sense of belonging. Walker (2005), quotes Gleason (1970), who examined where Expat Teens felt most at home. Thirty to fifty percent of this group said ‘more than one country’. Pollock and Van Reken (2009) say TCK’s (Third Culture Kids) are at home everywhere and nowhere.

Consider this example (please note: names have been changed to ensure confidentiality and anonymity of individual):

Siblings, John, Sara and Max, are holders of two passports but never lived in either of the two countries. They have lived in a total of 6 different countries and have been exposed to diverse cultures, foods, languages and religions. The eldest has attended a total of 12 different schools, whereas the youngest has attended 6. Although the children have visited the two countries of which they hold passports on numerous occasions, they do not identify with the histories, cultures, social norms, foods, school systems, public transportation, politics or the day-to-day ways of life in either country. They do, however, identify with Muslim traditions, enjoy Middle Eastern food, appreciate Chinese culture and traditions, and speak fluent French, ‘survival’ Russian, and a few words in Arabic. All three teens express that being asked, ‘Where do you come from?’ is a very challenging question. When John was 5 years old and was relocated to Jakarta, Indonesia from Cairo, Egypt, a volunteer mother visiting the school engaged in a discussion with John and asked him if he was Egyptian. John responded, “No, not anymore - I am Indonesian now.”

This real-life example provides evidence of one child’s response to defining his identity in a very different way to that of a monocultural child of the same age. Adapting to new countries, environments, languages and cultures are only a few examples of the change that Expat Teens are confronted by as a result of their transient lives.

‘Expat Teens Talk’ will be available SOON and will provide solutions, advice and support on how to deal with these ‘common themes’, reminding every Expat Teen who reads our book that he/she is not alone in terms of how they feel.

In the meantime, TALK to us via our “Comments” section and let us know what’s on your mind…

Positive Aspects of Being an Expat Teen

As a result of Expat Teens’ diverse exposure to change, cultures, languages, people, and having to constantly adapt to new environments and situations of growing up globally, there are inevitably positive outcomes. Robin Pascoe, author of numerous books related to various sub-topics of Expat Life, including Raising Global Nomads (2006), A Moveable Marriage (2003), and Homeward Bound (2000), attempts to profile the positive outcomes of growing up as an Expat Teen, describing these individuals as;

1. “Alert, intelligent, and geographically aware
2. Mature, sensitive and skilled at listening
3. Likely to exhibit tolerance and cross-cultural understanding
4. Flexible and open to change
5. High achieving
6. Drawn to careers associated with service to the community or the world” (Pascoe, 2006, p. 17)

Pascoe goes on to identify the challenges of growing up as an Expat Teen as;

• The overseas experience makes them feel different
• They gravitate to others like themselves
• Children are silent partners in relocation
• Issues of adolescence and rebellion are delayed
• A migratory instinct can take hold
• Global nomads (Expat Teens) feel rootless and restless, as if they don’t belong anywhere
• Global Nomads have issues of unresolved grief (Pascoe, 2006, p. 21)

As identified by Konig (2009) in the works of Pollack and Van Reken (1999), they say that “Global nomads are the culture brokers of our generation and that they are becoming increasingly more visible due to the globalisation of world economies. They have a three-dimensional world-view, and experience sights, sounds and smells when they see places in which they have lived on television. Other characteristics include high linguistic ability, good observation skills, patience, and not as judgemental. On the downside, there are issues of unresolved grief, rootlessness and insecurity in relationships. One of the defining themes of an internationally mobile childhood is frequent change. For every experience of change-by their own mobility or another’s- global nomads experience a parallel process of psychological transition.” (page 105).

Robin’s positive outcomes outweigh the challenges of growing up as an Expat Teen, and Konig’s quote is motivationally inspirational in wanting to maximize opportunities as an Expat Teen. Hold your heads up high and focus from time to time on the positive strengths and characteristics you are likely to develop as a result of your lifestyle.

‘Expat Teens Talk’ will soon be available to help when the challenges make seeing the positive outcomes difficult and unreachable. 

In the meantime, TALK to us via our “Comments” section and let us know what’s on your mind…

All The Time In The World...

Do you ever feel like you have no free time?? Do you ever stop and think about how you spend your time? Do you come home from school and switch on your computer and ‘surf the ‘net’, checking FACEBOOK, YouTube, email, and the top 10 most popular internet sites (whatever yours are)? The next time you ‘surf’, try something new - record the time you switch on the computer and the time you switch it off, counting only the time you spend surfing…you might be surprised. Without quoting research and statistics, many of us spend more time surfing the web than we realise. This is certainly an area where many Expat Teens can gain some extra time. While we encourage you to invest the time online keeping connected with old friends and your old school community when you move from one country to the next, try not to do it at the expense of something else, like investing in making new friends and really integrating into your new environment. Time management is a life skill. Start being conscious and aware of how you spend your time now. Developing mindful habits now will save you a ‘lot of time’ doing so later when ingrained habits are harder to break.

To find out more about the struggles that your fellow peers have with time management, stay tuned to this blogspot for information on our new book, Expat Teens Talk, which will be available in a few short weeks. In the meantime, TALK to us via our “Comments” section and let us know what’s on your mind…

Who Is Today's Expat Teen?

We fully recognize that non-Expat Teens may be interested in this blog and our soon-to-be-released book ‘Expat Teens Talk’. Therefore, for their benefit, we have provided a profile of a real Expat Teen’s Expat Life, to date.

Please note: Names have been changed to ensure confidentiality and anonymity of the individual profiled;

Anne, a 16 year old female Expat Teen, is the eldest of three children. She was born in Canada - her mother is Canadian and her father is Dutch. At ten days old, Anne took her first plane journey to where her parents lived as Expats and to what would be her first ‘home’ - Moscow, Russia - where the family lived as a result of her father’s career. At age 2 years and 4 months, the family relocated to Cairo, Egypt, where they lived for the next three years. They went on to live in Jakarta, Indonesia; Singapore; Verbier, Switzerland; Geneva, Switzerland (where Anne went from an English speaking International School to a local French speaking Swiss National school); and finally back to Singapore. Anne has, to date, never lived in either country of the two passports she holds from Holland and Canada. Her next home is likely to be in the UK where she has recently applied for University.

Our book ‘Expat Teens Talk’, which will be available in early/mid December, is full of stories written by Expat Teens like Anne - teens who live transient lives full of change. Read the advice, support and solutions to these stories as voiced by Expat Peers, Expat Parents and Expat Professionals. 

In the meantime, TALK to us via our “Comments” section and let us know what’s on your mind…

Who's Looking out for Expat Teens' Well-Being?

Most research, literature and resources, on the topic of Expats, provide examples of Expat Teens life after-the-fact, when these individuals have grown up and realize they are different as a result of life experiences. The majority of published resources are targeted towards parents and professionals. While going through the stages of adolescent development while living a transient life without being rooted to one’s extended family, school or community can be perceived as a very challenging way to grow up, there seems to be a ‘gap’ in both research and resources focusing on Expat Teens. Even though Recent statistics state there are 2,670,524 international students attending 5,689 English-medium International Schools around the world, with both numbers increasing on an annual basis (http://iscresearch.com retrieved on 16/12/2010). Most current research and resources available cite experiential evidence of the long term impact of ‘growing up globally’ after the fact, rather than authentic firsthand accounts of experiences during these critical years of development.

Gathering firsthand accounts, as will be found in our soon to be published “Expat Teens Talk’, will help Expat Teens develop a better sense of identity and well- being. Our book is full of first-hand accounts, as told by Expat Teens worldwide, of their challenges and support needs, and the responses - as voiced by Expat Peers, Expat Parents and Expat Professionals - provide the advice, support and solutions aimed to develop a greater understanding to be shared with their families, International School Staff, intercultural experts and, most importantly, Expat Teens themselves. This book, a first of its kind (to our knowledge), could potentially lead to inspiring others to develop more resources and tools that Expat Teens can access for support.

In the meantime, TALK to us via our “Comments” section and let us know what’s on your mind…

How The "Other Half" Lives...

The chart below compares the lives of an Expat Teen attending an International School with that of a local Canadian who grows up in the same house, neighbourhood and community for the period from birth to the end of high school. While these profiles are not representative of all Expat Teens or Local Canadians, they are representative of the profiles of teens with whom we have come into contact:

  

Growing up as a Swedish/Indian citizen in                  Growing up as a Canadian citizen in Canada

different International schools around the world

-Attends an International school with a varied                -Attends a local school with a national 

curriculum (PYP, middle school curriculum, IGCSE,          curriculum and graduating provincial certificate.

IB or an adapted national curriculum from an outside

country, or the local 'host' country).

-Grows up in a cultural melting pot of nationalities,      -Grows up in a monoculture environment; peers

with differing family values and societal norms.               relate to and identify with the same food, music,

Exposure to and knowledge of music, food, language,     movie/TV stars, politicians, schools, sports, 

family values, and religion, are often vastly different.       and language.

-Confronted by different cultural norms and values in    -Can identify with norms and values in home

the home environment, i.e., live-in maid/helper, and        environments; students attending local schools

different financial backgrounds.                                     live in the same district with similar socio-

                                                                                economic backgrounds. Public schools are not fee

                                                                                paying.

-Influenced by home/parents/peers when making          -Influenced by home/parents/peers/community/

decisions.                                                               extended family/teachers/role models in direct

                                                                                 environment when making decisions.

-Confronted by more differences than similarities;         -Relates more to similarities than differences in

socio-economic status, cultural background, home         peer group.

language, can live anywhere in "host country."

-Growing up as "outsiders", unable to fully integrate     -Growing up fully integrated as part of a school,

into the local communities/neighbourhoods/schools     community, and family.

and centres (sports/social/community).

-Substantial differences in access to money and              -Variable access to money and financial freedoms.

financial freedom amongst peers. Very limited                 Opportunities to earn money independently

opportunities to have a part-time job and,                       through babysitting and/or having a part-time job

therefore, earn money.                                                 which, in turn, exposes students to new

                                                                                 responsibilities and opportunities.

-Different and sometimes-conflicting freedoms in          -The local laws consistently dictate the age when

deciding where to go and what to do - taxi access,           teens can engage in certain activities, which is

buying alcohol and cigarettes, gaining entrance              often reinforced by school, community, and 

into clubs/bars, direct exposure to older/mature               family.

and experienced crowds. Freedom and access 

differ from country to country.

-Sometimes have different/fewer responsibilities            -Cultural norms and socio-economic background

in the home as a result of having a live-in maid/              dictate exposure and access to household help, 

helper. This results in an impact on the teens and            which, in turn, impacts/influences responsibility in

on the roles/responsibilities of their parents.                     the home environment.

The lives of Expat Teens can be challenging as a result of being exposed to so much change, cultural diversity and societal norms. Stay tuned for our soon-to-be-released book, ‘Expat Teens Talk’, to learn more about what these challenges are. Read what the Expat Peers, Parents and Professionals have to ‘say’ in terms of providing helpful advice, support and solutions.

In the meantime, TALK to us via our “Comments” section and let us know what’s on your mind…

Gracias...Merci...谢谢...Thank you...

This week, millions of Americans will be celebrating Thanksgiving - a holiday that was initially established to commemorate the first dinner between those who settled on Plymouth Rock (Pilgrims) and those who were already living on the land (Native Americans). Nowadays, Thanksgiving is a time when families and friends come together as a symbol of gratitude for their role in each others' lives...and to eat too much and watch American football all afternoon!

In this scenario, you - the Expat - may feel like the Pilgrim at times, particularly if you have moved more than once. When you arrive in a new country, you may feel like you have to start all over again to understand and incorporate the cultural nuances of a place that you've never been to/lived in before. At other times, you may feel the need to find a way to "put your mark" on this new endeavor. However, there may be times when you feel like the Native American, who has established a certain set of expectations and values only to have them challenged (and possibly changed) as a function of moving to a new country or having others move to where you are. Regardless of which "role" you may fit into, many of you find a way to adjust so that you can fit in with your surroundings. Others of you, however, may find that to be difficult, and may resonate moreso with the traditional turkey that is served during Thanksgiving dinner - feeling as though you are sacrificing your happiness (for example) for the well-being of others (in this case, the "others" may be the parent whose job moved you in the first place, in particular, or your family's well-being, in general).

As we have said many times throughout our blog entries, Expat Life is full of many positive aspects. However, there are also times when you, as an Expat Teen, may find yourself facing situations that are less-than-ideal. In those situations, you may feel like there are some things that you are not thankful for, and you may wonder who you can talk to in order to find a balance within your life.

Expat Teens Talk is a resource that was written to help Expat Teens who may be struggling with feelings related to Expat Life and Adolescence. We encourage you to read this valuable resource so that you can receive some support for those moments when you do, in fact, feel like the aforementioned turkey - when you just don't see the benefits (for yourself) of the perceived sacrifice.

Our book will be on shelves in a few short weeks, so stay tuned to this blogspot for more details. In the meantime TALK to us and let us know what's on your mind...

Guest Blog Entry: The Importance of Friendship

So far, you have read blog entries from the authors of the upcoming book, "Expat Teens Talk". Now, we will share some entries from guest bloggers in an effort to provide you with stories, thoughts, and words of wisdom from those who have been where you are (or have been). It is our hope that these guest entries will provide you with further confirmation about some of the issues that are associated with Expat Life, as well as words of wisdom about how to manage those issues. After you read Eliza's story below, TALK to us and let us know what you think...

The Importance of Friendship by Eliza Love

A lot has changed since I was an American teenager living in Belgium, but I can’t imagine that the challenges of such a huge adjustment don’t still exist. My family moved to Brussels when I was 10 years old. I remember when I announced it to my 5^th grade class in rural New York and my teacher asked me what language they spoke in Belgium and I said ‘Belgish’… Was I in for the culture shock of a lifetime!

Moving to Belgium was the biggest adjustment of my life. I had to adjust to a different environment, different language, different home, school, friends, and so on and I had no say in it! I felt completely lost.

I’ll admit that it took me about a year to get used to all of these changes and start to really like living abroad. Looking back on it now I think one of the major things that was missing was really understanding that everyone I was going to school with had gone through the same things. I was so angry with my parents so when they would try to help, I ignored them. What I really needed was somewhere I could go and talk with people my own age who had gone through these experiences and could support me- like Expat Teens Talk.

Cliques are such a big thing in International Schools. The Americans hang out with the Americans, the Dutch hang out with the Dutch, etc. It’s completely natural for us to find friends that we can relate to and identify with, but there are so many great people that we go to school with that have such interesting personalities. Expat Teens Talk is the best way to connect with people from all over the world who have been going through the same challenges that you have and need you just as much as you need them. It’s going to be the fastest, easiest, and most fun way to make friends and when you’re a teenager, friends are the most important people in your life!

Eliza Love
Expat Teen Alumnus
Colorado (USA)

Keeping it Real...

As adults, parents, and teachers - people working with and living with teenagers - we often forget the complexities of growing up. The stages of adolescence can be challenging, especially when experiencing physical changes: developing muscles; hair in places it never grew before; being confronted by acne; feeling no control over emotions, flipping from being really happy to being really angry and then wanting to burst out in laughter. Adolescence, the teenage years, are one of the most transformational times in ones life. You go through the process of growing and developing from a child to a young adult and it is not always easy.

REMEMBER:

Regardless of where you live, the teenage years are full of new experiences, experimentation, self-discovery, internal and external change, peer discovery, and growing, changing relationships. These can be (and often are) challenging years full of new decisions and expectations.

Major areas of change in the lives of teenagers can be catorgorized (but not limited to) the following areas:

•      Peers

•      Family

•      Physical/hormonal/emotional changes

•      School/International schools

•      Internet

•      Expat Teens-adapting to change as a result of transitioning to a new 'host' country (new home, school, country, language, culture, peers, teachers - this list is virtually endless)

So, if you're experiencing any difficulties in the aforementioned areas, take comfort in knowing that you are not the only one! And if you are a parent or professional who regularly interacts with Teens, please remember that a listening ear can go a long way.

Stay tuned to this Blogspot for more information about our upcoming book, "Expat Teens Talk." In the meantime, TALK to us and let us know what's on your mind...

Yes, it COULD happen to you...

As we have mentioned throughout our blog entries, there are quite a few issues that Expat Teens tend to be faced with as a function of their roles, both as Expats, as well as Teenagers. We have reflected on some of those issues, but want to take it a bit further with this entry by informing you of some statistics of sensitive  issues that are impacting Teens worldwide. Many of you may read these statistics and think “this is not relevant to me”, or “this couldn’t happen to me.”If you think that, you aren’t the only one who does…however, evidence indicates that thinking that way can be dangerous. Just ask those who said “this couldn’t happen to me”…and then it did. This entry is not supposed to be a scare tactic. It is a reality check, and is also a way to let those of you who have dealt with these issues know that there is a resource that you can turn to for support – Expat Teens Talk. So be informed, be safe, and TALK to us and let us know what is on your mind…

•      Teen Depression:

–     1/5 of teens will have depression before age 18;

–     20-50% of teens with depression have a family history of depression or other mental health problems;

–     30% of those with depression also have substance abuse problems.

•      Teen Suicide: 2^nd leading cause of death among teens 15-19 y.o.

•      Teen Substance Abuse:

–     Teenagers turn to  cigarettes and alcohol for the same reasons: curiosity, boredom, as a way to forget their problems;

–     Girls and boys may start drinking because of a lack of communication, support, and monitoring from parents.

•      Teen Pregnancy and Sexuality:

–     One in every ten births worldwide is to a mother who is still a child herself;

–     Homosexual teens are more likely than their heterosexual counterparts to use alcohol or other drugs, engage in risky sexual behaviors, or run away from home.

•      Teen STI’s:

–     1/5 of people living with HIV are living in Asia and infection rates are increasing quickly;

                 --  People aged 15-24 accounted for approx. 45% of new HIV infections worldwide in 2007

Please be safe and make good decisions - your life depends on it...

University transition…so much more than academics

Being told by your parents that it’s time to move again becomes almost as routine as your parents saying “brush your teeth before you go to bed.” But what happens when you reach one of those milestones that many Teens reach in their lives – graduating from high school/secondary school? For students in all contexts – Monocultural and Expat, alike – and their parents/guardians, the notion of “life after high school” is wrought with much excitement, worry, trepidation, and confusion. For an Expat Teen, it may initially appear to be just one more move in a series of moves. However, when you start to think about it in more detail, you start to realize how this move is so completely different from all of the other moves. For one, you’re (generally) moving by yourself and leaving your family behind. For another, you (generally) are the one who gets to decide where you are going next. So, how do you deal with all of the unknowns that accompany this phase of life? If you are still in your final year of secondary school, how can you make the most of your final year, both at school and at home? There are books out there to help you with the former (e.g., The Global Nomad’s Guide to University Transition, by Tina L. Quick), but there aren’t that many that address the latter. That’s where our book comes in.

Expat Teens Talk is a resource that addresses some of the concerns that Teens in all stages of adolescence have about their lives, both what they are doing now, and how they can prepare for the future. Their concerns are addressed via feedback from their fellow Expat Peers, as well as from Expat Parents and Expat Professionals, thus providing some support for them as they go through this ever-changing stage of life. Within the book is also advice and support from what we call Expat Teen Alumni – individuals who were Expat Teens at one time. So, stay tuned to this blogspot for more information on how you can get a copy of the book. In the meantime, TALK to us and let us know what’s on your mind…

Needing Support is OKAY!

There are often times in life when we struggle to deal with what we are experiencing. We should not have to feel like we have to get through these difficult times alone. Asking for help is not a bad thing! Asking for help is often the solution we need to get through the challenging times in life.

Psychologists say the following are the most difficult and stressful things for people to experience:

•      Illness of a parent or sibling

•      Death of a parent or sibling

•      Separation or divorce of parents

•      Moving and adaptation difficulties

If you stop and think about the fact that ‘moving’ is on that list, take a moment to think of the impact an international move has on a person. You are confronted by endless change: new country, city, language, culture, job, colleagues, cultural norms, professional norms, house, neighbourhood, school, teachers, academic system, teaching methodology, peers, friends, sports, climate, arts, music, politics, religion, and the list goes on. How does moving from one country to another country impact a person? Should we be expected to deal with these changes all on our own? Is there something wrong with us when we find it difficult, when we find ourselves  struggling, regardless of whether we are an adult, a parent, a teenager? Below is a list of things that are difficult to deal with when moving around the world as an Expat, having a transient life that is more full of change than stable norms:

•      Change in roles, responsibility, career, identity of parents and impact on teens;

•      Peer relationship difficulties (peer pressure, friendship issues, romantic relationships, sexual identity issues);

•      School related issues (academic pressure/stress, organization difficulties, homework/project difficulties, working independently, school expectations);

•      Alcohol, drugs, sex related issues;

•      Moving to a boarding school: developing independence, making decisions, finding balance with non-boarding friends (freedoms, time, independence, cultural differences);

•      Reintegration issues: going back to an environment you no longer feel a part of (or never were a part of) or don’t identify with. This often happens when, for example, Expat Teens go to their passport country or country of birth for university studies.

Having problems, challenges, or some difficulty adapting to change as an Expat Teen, an Expat Parent or an Expat Professional is OK! Asking for support or finding the resources you need to have access to support can be, and most often is, extremely beneficial, as it helps support you in finding new directions, learning about solutions and being exposed to advice to make the transition easier.

“Expat Teens Talk” offers advice, support and solutions from Expat Peers, Parents and Professionals, to Expat Teens who have written in and shared the challenges they feel confronted by as a result of living a transient Expat life. In the meantime, TALK to us and let us know what’s on your mind…

Top Things Expat Teens Find Challenging About Moving

“But I just started to feel settled!” “Do we have to move again?” “Man, I hate having to pack up my room!” “But I’m almost done with high school!” Sound familiar? You may have said something similar the last time one of your parents told you that your family was moving again. And you aren’t the only ones who feel this way, as you may know. While there are many positive aspects of being an Expat Teen, you can probably recognize the bittersweet aspect that comes with it, as the very thing that makes Expat Life fun and exciting is the same thing that makes it difficult and sobering.

In our book, Expat Teens Talk, we heard from some of you who are dealing with various issues that are related to Expat Life. Below is a list of the things that were identified as being the most difficult when it comes to moving:

•      Getting on the plane

•      Growing up in one country and having family (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc) in another requires a balancing act of living between and knowing both

•      Having to learn about and adapt to new cultural norms and learn a new language

•      Saying good bye to friends, teachers,  friends of the family

•      Staying in touch with those you left behind, people get busy and priorities change, you do ‘lose’ contact and therefore relationships

•      Knowing where you really belong; fitting in

•      Having to leave a place I grow attached to and start to feel at home in, leaving is so incredibly difficult

•      Sense of loss, loss of a home, friends, school

•      Going to a new school, having to make new friends when social groups are already formed

•      Adjusting to a new environment, language, food, culture, lifestyle

•      Culture shock

•      Everything

•      New school, new teachers, different academic system and way of teaching

•      Difficult to move from developed to developing world countries

•      Knowing and understanding where ‘home’ is, it becomes less clear the more you move around or the longer you stay away from your ‘home’ country

So, as you can see, you aren’t the only one! Watch this spot for more information on our upcoming book. In the meantime, TALK to us and let us know what’s on your mind…

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