Guest Post: 20 Rules Teens Want their Parents to Follow...

Greetings! We have the opportunity to present another guest post to you, written by Paul Taylor, who contributes to another blog, entitled "Babysitting Jobs". While we do not usually do this, we decided to go ahead and present to you a recent article that was posted to Paul's blog, as it has relevance to our topic of Expat Teens. So, we invite you to check out the link below, keeping in mind that the views reflected within the article may not necessarily reflect the views of the authors of Expat Teens Talk.

“20 Rules Teens Want Their Parents to Follow But Know They Won’t” (http://www.babysittingjobs.com/blog/20-rules-teens-want-their-parents-to-follow-but-know-they-won%E2%80%99t/)

The Loneliness of an Expat Teen...

Those who have grown up in an environment where they are able to experience four seasons (winter, spring, summer, and fall) tend to appreciate them more then they move out of those environments. However, one of the seasons that tends to have the most complaints is winter. The shorter days of sunlight, cold temperatures, and general blah-ness that accompany that season tend to result in people being less active, less energetic, and, at times, lonely.

One of the entries in our book, Expat Teens Talk, speaks to loneliness and the difficulties that teens face, regardless of where they are living or what season they are experiencing. In this entry, the writer says:

"I went from an expat international life to a local life. I like where I live; however I wish that other Expat Teens lived where I do. My biggest issue in this local environment is loneliness. I feel very isolated from the people around me...I miss having friends who are more like me, other expat friends who can relate to my expat experience..."

When an individual is experiencing loneliness due to feelings of being constricted or restricted by cold temperatures and dangerous weather conditions, the loneliness can sometimes be alleviated by recognizing that, eventually, the days will get longer and the weather will warm up. However, for Expat Teens and others who may not know where or when they will next move, alleviating these feelings could be more difficult. Regardless of the circumstances, loneliness can be very uncomfortable, and finding ways to combat loneliness can be a challenge. Here are some ideas of appropriate, healthy ways to combat loneliness:

*Find ways to adapt to your environment, including finding new hobbies to get into that could initially distract you from feeling like you are alone, and ultimately add to your repertoire of personal activities to do, regardless of the time of year or how you are feeling.

*Use this time to spend more quality time with your family. Consider establishing new family routines and rituals that will help you maximize your family experiences and create lasting memories.

*Explore your neighborhood and others in your immediate surroundings. For example,  winter time is one of the best times to explore new restaurants, so set a goal for yourself in terms of how many or which types of restaurants you want to check out.

*Keep in touch with your friends! One of the best ways to combat loneliness is to remind yourself of your family and friend support network. In this day and age, social media has made it extremely easy to do so, so be sure to take advantage.

*Remind yourself that this, too, shall end!

As we go into Spring time in the Northern Hemisphere and Autumn in the Southern Hemisphere, we hope that these suggestions will help you combat loneliness and enhance your overall personal experiences!

Young & Global a NEW magazine online

Expat Teens Talk authors Diana and Lisa were recently contacted by and introduced to 'Young & Global' (see: http://www.youngandglobal.org/),  a fresh, interesting, new online magazine with great articles on: Studying Abroad, Expatriate Living, International Education, World Languages, Global Service, and a section called 'Close to Home'.  A must read for all Expats and those interested in learning more about international experiences and opportunities.  Take the time to explore their first edition, you will be glad you did.

Book Recommendation: Expat Teens Talk BY KRISTEN OLOSKY

Expat Teens Talk was recently reviewed by Kristen Olosky, Editor of "YOUNG & GLOBAL MAGAZINE," an online magazine for expats.Thank you Kristen!! Expat Teens Talk recommends all readers to have a look at YOUNG & GLOBAL MAGAZINE, a new and exciting read for all expats and individuals interested in learning more about the world around us. Diana and Lisa

Every year, around the world, tens of thousands of teenagers say goodbye to friends, schools, and the cultures they know when their families relocate to new countries. These teens aren’t immigrants – their families aren’t seeking citizenship in new locations – they’re the children of military and government personnel, diplomats, and professionals working abroad. They’re expat teens.

Relocating to a new country and culture (and eventually returning home) presents challenges and opportunities for every expatriate, regardless of age. But for those who take on this experience as they navigate the choppy waters of adolescence, the effects of a transient cross-cultural lifestyle are uniquely super-charged.

Expat Teens Talk, by Dr. Lisa Pittman and Diana Smit, is written specifically for internationally mobile teens, and it’s a value-packed gem.

The book is designed as a “dip in, dip out” resource, which doesn’t have to be read cover to cover. Each section begins with a short, personal statement, submitted to the authors by one of the many expat teens they consulted in their work, describing a particular problem or concern. The personal statements are followed by unvarnished advice and solutions proposed by peers, parents, and professionals. The resulting blend of perspectives is well balanced and thought provoking.

Some issues discussed in the book – such as bullying, peer pressure, academic concerns, and rocky parental communications – are universal worries of teenagers, although they’re tackled from the particular perspective of teens growing up outside their home countries and without an extended family support system.

Other issues are unique to expats: moving to an unknown culture, lacking the normal concept of ‘home’, and the challenges of ‘going local’ when it’s eventually time to return to their own country. These are the sections where Expat Teens Talk really shines as a specialized and valuable resource.

One word of caution, however.  While the authors define expat teens as being 12-18 years old, some issues in this book are more relevant to older teens, and might be handled a bit too candidly for the middle school set.

Expat Teens Talk, by Dr. Lisa Pittman and Diana Smit, 2012, is available at:

The author was not financially compensated in any way for this review, and the opinions expressed are her own. This post does contain an affiliate link, and Young & Global Magazine will receive an extraordinarily small bit of compensation if you purchase the book through the link, for which we thank you!

University Expat Teen Contributions

INTRODUCTIONS/ FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Social groups are crucial for youth existence: they assure company, support and loyalty in all walks of life.  So how do social groups form at a new accommodation in a new university in a new country some 15’590 kilometres away from ‘home’? First impressions are key.

The basis of first impressions is personal introductions, and during the first few weeks of university there is a multitude of opportunities for one to introduce themselves. “Hello my name is…” to roommates, hall mates and classmates is a start, but once sports teams and societies are underway ones exposure to new people fourfold. As a result names fade out of memory and instead you, initially, associate ‘that blond girl’ as the girl who has the pantry cupboard next to yours, and ‘that tall guy over there’ as an avid basketball player. It is exactly this extra background information that becomes the identifier between all the Hannah’s and the Harry’s.

One of the most important questions to distinguish one from the other, especially to the international mind, is ‘where are you from?’. In this patriotic department there is a much wider range of answers available, resulting in the generalised ‘three categories of nationalities’:-

1.     Single nationality: the introduction from the student who is from one country or city and has lived there their whole life

2.     Dual nationality: the student who has two passports from separate countries and most likely lives in one of them, or the student who lives in a country they call home separate to their one passport nationality

3.     ‘Third Culture’ nationality: the individual who holds two passports but lives in a third country and whose longer-than-expected answer to the simple question tends to bewilder the questioner.

Not only does this cause the international student comic relief but it creates an international camaraderie and a first impression that could bond you together for longer than you first assumed.

Evelyn Simpson 2012 – A Year In Expat Books

Thank you Evelyn for a great review!! We look forwards to welcoming many new readers in 2013.
Diana and Lisa

Evelyn Simpson 2012 was a bumper year of new books for expats, thanks in no small part to Jo Parfitt’s Summertime Publishing which continues to lead the way in publishing all genres of books of interest to expats. I’m an avid reader of books that relate in some way to the experience of being an accompanying partner; memoirs, how-tos and novels. Here’s a sampling of some of my favourites from the year (including a few from my bookshelf that I’m dying to dip into but haven’t found the time). The Expats by Chris Pavone  My first expat book of the year was the only one on my list not published by Summertime and the only work of fiction. The Expats tells the tale of Kate, who gives up her career as a CIA agent to follow her husband Dexter (who has no idea that she worked for the CIA) to Luxembourg. They quickly make friends with fellow expats Bill and Julia but all is not as it seems and Kate’s CIA training kicks into high gear. It’s a great story and Chris Pavone, who relocated to Luxembourg as a result of his wife’s career, portrays the challenges of being an accompanying partner with the aplomb of an insider. Read it and you’ll look at all of your friends a little differently for a while. Expat Life Slice by Slice by Apple Gidley In expat terms, Apple Gidley has done it all. She’s been a lifelong expat and her book tells her story; from TCK (Third Culture Kid) to accompanying partner to expat grandparent. She’s made 26 moves in 12 countries, from Malaysia to the USA and plenty in between. She’s a great story-teller and her “slices” are peppered with anecdotes that bring her experiences and the characters she’s met to life. The book jumps around a bit (Apple notes this upfront in her timeline) and, until I became a little more immersed, I found it a little frustrating. However, it was worth persisting as Apple’s story is an engaging read. If you’re an accompanying partner at any stage of life, you’ll find something to relate to in the book. Subtle Differences, Big Faux Pas by Elizabeth Vennekens-Kelly Elizabeth is a fellow expat in Belgium and I had the pleasure of meeting her last year. Unlike many of the other cross-cultural books I’ve read, hers is not country or business specific. Rather, it covers a gamut of topics where cultural misunderstandings can be commonly made and helps the reader to develop and awareness of the kinds of differences that might exist. It then provides suggestions and strategies that can be applied in any country or culture. The book addresses the topics you’d expect in a cross-cultural book, such as language, small talk, etiquette in personal and business situations and body language but it also talks about swearing, religion, taxes and a host of other issues you might encounter in expat life. My favourite part of the book? The quizzes at the end of each chapter add a bit of fun to the topic and make the teaching much more memorable. The last two expat books I read and enjoyed in 2012 are memoirs of being an accompanying partner. I’ll be writing about them and the topics they raise in more detail next month but both books are a must read for current and prospective accompanying partners. An Inconvenient Posting by Laura J Stephens True to the “two degrees of separation” of expat life, a mutual friend (Jo) of Laura Stephens and mine told me about this book. In a book that is part memoir and part how-to, Laura relates her experience of moving to Houston and the depression that she suffered as she came to terms with her changed identity and the loss of her career. In her candid telling of her story, Laura deals with the topic of depression (one which is often swept under the carpet in expat circles) with sensitivity and humour. The book manages to be fun and engaging without diminishing the seriousness of the subject matter and the how-to part of the book brings the weight of both her personal experience and her professional knowledge to bear.  Trailing by Kristin Louise Duncombe Also a psychotherapist, Kristin Louise Duncombe tells her story in the context of a medical mission to East Africa where her husband is a doctor for Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF). Her identity and career challenges play out in a world where personal safety is a concern and where she is clearly an outsider not only in the country in which she is living but also in the high adrenaline MSF culture that her husband inhabits. While aspects of her story seem unimaginably difficult to those who have never experienced a hardship assignment, Kristin’s book is ultimately an encouraging story of self-development and growth with insights that are helpful to all accompanying partners. I’ve been spoiled for choice in the new expat books available this year. With all the expat blogs , studies and articles out there and the fact that, yes, I do include non-expat-related reading materials in my reading list, there are a few other 2012 books whose siren calls still emanate from my bookcase. Here are three I’ll be reading before I touch anything published in 2013. Forced To Fly 2nd Ed by Jo Parfitt Billed as “an anthology which will make you see the funny side of living abroad” this second edition is a mix of expert advice and humourous stories by some of my favourite expat writers including Maria Foley (I was an expat wife), Jack Scott (whose 2011 book Perking the Pansies has been nominated for a Polaris prize) and Linda Janssen (Adventures in Expat Land).  Fly Away Home by Maggie Myklebust  Maggie is the daughter of 2nd generation Norwegian immigrants to the USA. She grows up immersed in both American and Norwegian culture. As an adult she flees to Norway to escape an abusive marriage but she is eventually pulled back to the US and then to the Netherlands in her new life and partnership. Her story is one of finding identity between two cultures as well as one of coming to terms with the past.  Expat Teens Talk by Dr. Lisa Pittman and Diana Smit  Psychologist Dr. Lisa Pittman and educational therapist Diana Smit tackle the topic of being an expat teenager (undoubtedly a double whammy of identity challenges). In the book they give a voice to expat teenagers who relate their own stories and challenges in return for advice from expat peers, parents and professionals. With a daughter who is just embarking on her teenage years and a son who is not far behind, I suspect this book will be dog-eared in no time. The number of expat books is mushrooming as global mobility moves into the mainstream. The breadth of topics is increasing meaning that fewer people will feel alone in their experiences of expat life, whatever they are. That can only be positive.  With such an amazing array of books in 2012, I’m left feeling excited about the books that 2013 will bring and thankful that Kindle means I don’t have to find shelf space for all of them. Evelyn Simpson is a personal development coach who works with the accompanying partners of expats helping them to transition to expat life and to find happiness and fulfilment in their lives overseas. Evelyn has spent almost all of her adult life living as an expat on 3 continents and in 5 countries. She’s been a working expat, an accompanying partner and has founded her own portable business, The Smart Expat, while overseas. Evelyn and her Australian husband have two children who have yet to live in either of their passport countries. You can learn more about Evelyn and her work at www.thesmartexpat.com where she blogs regularly about expat life. Read Evelyn's other Expat Focus articles here.

eDUNIA review of Expat Teens Talk workshop

Expat Teen Talk workshop benefits both parents and professionals Posted 12/11/2012 10:24AM UWCSEA’s Centre for International Education hosted an exciting and relevant weekend workshop in September with Diana Smit and Dr Lisa Pittman, authors of Expat Teens Talk. Diana and Lisa ran the sessions along with other guest presenters including some of the biggest names in the field of ‘expatriate children’ or ‘Third Culture Kids (TCK).’ Some of the presenters joined the workshop via Skype while others flew in to Singapore join in the discussion. Each of the sessions delivered researched thoughts and recommendations on this hot topic, accompanied by fervent discussion between the participants and presenters. The workshops covered a variety of areas relevant to TCK including sessions on When Expat Kids Transition for College/University: What are the unique challenges and how to cope with them; Going From One International Assignment to the Next International Assignment; The challenges that teens are faced with when growing up as Expats; Why do some kids thrive while others struggle?; How does being a TCK and part of an internationally mobile community either help or hinder a child’s or teen’s development?; What are the effects of a globally nomadic childhood? Can these students become true cultural bridges?; Supporting Individual and Cultural Identity for Teens in Transition; A personal account from an expatriate mother whose teenage daughter developed severe depression and bulimia; Why the Growing Cultural Complexity of Students in the Classroom Matters to Educators. While the majority of participants were from a counselling background, those who attended from other subject areas as well as parents claimed to have benefitted from the workshop. Participants enjoyed having access to so many experts with different takes on the subject as well as such a rich variety of resources. Two UWCSEA East parents share their perspective on the sessions below: “I initially thought that I would only attend a session or two but ended up staying for the whole day. The sessions were informative however I've read a couple of books about TCKs & I'm one myself so the information wasn't new to me - it did serve as positive affirmation of the life we've chosen. The technology used was great in the sense of being able to have speakers from across the world but … it's also nice to have a physical presenter when you are attending physically… I'm happy I had the opportunity to attend, I think it's great that this was offered to UWCSEA parents.” -- Lydia Abbey, parent “As a parent of two teenagers, it was a fantastic opportunity to learn more about the challenges that lie ahead after graduating from school. It was amazing to have a Skype connection and discussion with such a wide range of presenters. I found the sessions very informative and helpful for third culture parents and their kids. Thanks to Diana Smit and her team to offer this very interesting workshop about third culture kids to UWCSEA parents.” Aleid Rijks, parent

© UWCSEA

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How Being an Expat Teen Can Be Confusing and Exhilarating

Once again, we have the privilege of introducing to you a guest blogger. Please help us welcome Jason Miner with his thoughts about the life of an Expat Teen. As with all other guest posts, we ask that you keep in mind that the views of the guest blogger do not represent those of the authors of Expat Teens Talk.
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How Being an Expat Teen Can Be Confusing and Exhilarating

Living the life of an expat teen can be adventurous and enlightening. In some aspects, the expat teen will have insights into humanity that not many have experienced themselves. As each culture is explored from one location to another, the teen begins to develop an appreciation for many walks of life. An expat teen has the advantage of educational systems abroad and it could provide a further explanation into how each culture propagates itself and what aspects of life are held in higher standards than others. Although the teen will have a unique perspective of world matters and economies, the experiences they have to surrender could be equally as important to them.

1. Friends
Pro: While being an expat teen, you have the opportunity to make friends the entire world over from all aspects of life. You could learn a great deal of how other cultures advance and the knowledge gained from your friend could be worth a great deal.
Con: When it comes time to move on to the next location, your friends stay behind. If the bond developed between the teens is strong, it can be quite painful.

2. Romantic Relationships
Pro: As with making friends above, you can develop relationships with a variety of people in a myriad of locations. Using social media websites could keep you in contact with them.
Con: As many teens involve themselves on a romantic level with the opposite sex, this could become tiring when leaving a girlfriend or boyfriend behind. Long distance relationships have a way of dissolving and could cause frustration in the expat teen.

3. Ever Changing Scenery
Pro: There are thousands of adults who would give anything to be able to travel the world. This planet has much to offer and those who live abroad are the embodiment of those who wish to could go.
Con: It's hard for a teen to move from location to location without the ability to form roots anywhere. Constant change could grind down on a teen to the point of personal isolation.

4. Education
Pro: Thanks to advancements in technology, educational needs are quite easy to accommodate. Online study courses and schools can be taken with you wherever you go, providing you have some kind of Internet ability in the location. Educational staff are on hand to provide the best experience possible for the expat teen.
Con: One of the most memorable moments in a teens life is the experience he or she gains from attending a high school throughout their education. Sometimes, the lack of stability throughout an education could lead to frustrations in a teenager. Moving from school to school doesn't bode that well in the United States for teens. However, the knowledge and experience gained could be worth the trade. 

Expatriation doesn't have to be viewed as a detrimental experience. Although it could be lonely as the expat teen moves from one locale to the other, the insights and teachings he or she will learn in the experience could give them a global perspective that could be greatly beneficial in public offices and even customer support. With experienced staff on hand, the expat teen is in good hands and any troubles that could arise are met with compassion and understanding. If only the rest of the world could be so lucky.

Author Bio:

Jason Miner plays a vital role for www.blogcarnival.com/. He is an expert in writing topics of different categories. He is helping the carnival team to grow & working on making this an even better place for bloggers.

The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition. WEBINARS

On behalf of our great colleague Tina Quick, we would like to inform you of her upcoming webinars. We strongly encourage all of you to share this opportunity with friends and family who are preparing to transition to college/university or with those who are struggling with transitional  issues having already started college/university.

Greetings,

You are receiving this email either because you work with or support expatriate students. I wanted to tell you about the following opportunity. Please feel free to share it with your students, staff and/or parents:

USA Girl Scouts Overseas is hosting this free webinar by Tina Quick, author of "The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition." It will cover TCKs, the expanding language of cross-cultural kids (CCKs): their struggles, strengths and attributes and discuss ways of supporting our global children. The second section of the webinar will cover the transition issues that TCKs experience when going to college. It is also highly applicable to families repatriating with adolescents. 

Please click on the link below to register for the webinar of your choice: 

https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/777141954 -- January 17th 6:00 am E.S.T./11:00 am U.T.C. 

https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/155788746 -- January 17th 10:00 am E.S.T./3:00 pm U.T.C. 

https://www2.gotomeeting.com/register/345924970 -- January 17th 2:00 pm E.S.T./7:00 pm U.T.C.

Tina L. Quick

International Family Transitions

166 Forest Street

Winchester, MA 01890

+1 781-369-1068

+1 781-439-8490 (cell)

www.internationalfamilytransitions.com

Success and adventure in transition

Reflections and Gratitude

December. That word tends to bring joy to the lives of so many because of what it represents. For those in the Northern Hemisphere, it represents fun winter activities that often involve snow! For those in the Southern Hemisphere, it represents summer time and associated summer activities. For the religious/spiritual, it represents a time to reflect on peace on earth and good will towards others. For Expats, it can be a unique time - there are families who "go home for the holidays", and there are families who create their own "end of year" traditions. But for just about everyone, December represents the end of the calendar year, and the hope for better things to come in the new year. It is a time of reflection, remembering the good (and not-so-good) things that happened within our respective lives and within the world around us. And in that reflection, we recognize what we learned and how we can move forward.

For us, the authors of Expat Teens Talk, 2012 has been a year of considerable growth. We were able to get our book published, and have enjoyed the feedback that we have gotten from everyone who has had the opportunity to read it. The process was definitely a learning experience, one that we will use as we go into 2013. In reflecting on this process, we want to take a moment to thank all of you for your support. Following our blog, "liking" us on Facebook, following us on Twitter, and buying our book - all of these activities have allowed us to feel supported, and for that we sincerely thank you!

We are looking forward to a wonderful 2013, and we hope that you will join us on our journey. Until then, we wish you a very Happy Holiday season, and a safe and wonderful New Year!

Warmest Regards,

Lisa and Diana